Merriam-Webster defines culture shock as, "a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation." I guess it's safe to say that by the time I arrived here from the US 7 months ago, I wasn't really "shocked" by many things. By that point, I'd seen 60+ Korean dramas (1000+ hours), listened to numerous songs, watched a bunch of YouTube videos, read some blogs. So, I guess this is really more a compilation of cultural differences (문화 차이) and things that surprised me. Regardless:
- Sharing food
I'm talking sharing the same BOWL of food. In Korea, everyone at the table dips their spoons (yes, the ones that were just in their mouths) back into the stew on the table. In the US, unless you're really close with someone (or if it's a food you can just dip once, like nachos & cheese), no one really shares a bowl. My roommates and I usually have a separate/personal bowl of rice, then everything else (kimchi, omelettes, soup) is communal. It saves on dishes, but is a little worrisome when a dinnermate is alternating coughing and eating soup... - Directions
When asking for directions in Korea, chances are the person helping you will tell you how to get there via landmarks, which may or may not still be there. Everything starts from a certain exit at the nearest subway station and goes from there. (Usually, minimally, subway stations will be at a big 4-way intersection, and each side of each intersecting road will have its own exit.) I'll never forget this time we tried to find a place in Hongdae. The directions said go out Exit 2, make a left at the big intersection, turn right across from an eyeglass shop, then turn left at a certain coffee shop. No distances or anything. We weren't sure the first intersection we saw was a "big" one... and we walked all the way up the hill til we reached the university gates and never saw an eyeglass shop... and that coffee shop definitely went out of business since the last time the website was updated. Things are sort of starting to come around now. Every road has a name and every building has a sequential number.... it's just no one uses them. And the definition of a road is still open to interpretation. In the areas with older houses (and narrower streets), "1st Street" (for example) could cover the entire neighborhood, regardless of any twists or turns or the number of times it intersects with itself. But at least it gives you a general idea. The old building numbering system was actually done by neighborhoods, and each building had a block and building number, assigned chronologically by date of construction. So Block 2 was potentially no where near Block 1, and Building 2 was probably no where near Building 1. And multistory buildings are awesome. Find the Staircase to Go Up is one of my favorite Korean games. Anyway, supposedly people have to start using the new addresses for realz by the end of this year.... We'll see how that goes. - Home "necessities" not included
A lot of the things I took for granted in the US are really hard to come by here. My Korean apartment has no oven, bathtub, dryer, or microwave. Those just aren't used here, except by richer people. Korean food isn't baked, there are public bathhouses/saunas, everyone line dries their clothes, and even I have only found myself wishing for a microwave a few times (once I became used to boiling water in a kettle). The lack of clothes dryer is probably one of the few things I couldn't really prepare myself for. Never used fabric softener in the US. Here, I try (when I remember) to use it every time. And with high humidity in the summer, line drying is rough, but you just have to wash a few times a week, so there's less water to evaporate and you've got at least a few dry things to choose from. - Public drinking and drunkenness
Koreans view drinking a lot differently than Americans. Employees go out for drinks with their bosses after work. Prospective son-in-laws drink with their girlfriend's fathers, answering questions 'til someone passes out. College kids head to the river, order chicken for delivery and break out the beer and/or soju (similar to vodka). Alcohol is everywhere, which means drunk people are everywhere, even in public (parks, the subway, staggering down the street). In the US, public drunkenness is A Thing. Here, it's really not a thing. Koreans work hard ~ seriously. In 2008, they worked an average of 2357 hours.. the 2nd-highest country worked 2052.. and Americans worked 1797. In that spirit, they also play hard. Places that serve drinks are busy on weeknights as well as weekends. - Traffic
Drivers in Korea take traffic laws as more of "traffic suggestions" than do drivers in the US. There are so many delivery scooters here, and they're especially bad at following the rules. One way street? Big mistake if you assume traffic will only be coming from the indicated direction. Is the light red and you find you're too tired to move your foot to the brake pedal (or hand to the brake..handle..)? No problem. Just swerve around the pedestrians in the crossing! Motorcycles especially ignore red lights if they're only so people can cross the road. They also ignore those..what're they called..? Oh. Right. Lanes. Motorcycles drive on the lines to go between cars. People drive cars on the sidewalk. Sometimes there are actual parking spaces there, but oftentimes it's actually just a sidewalk. They also park in the right-most lane.. in the middle of rush hour.. forcing every car to swerve around them. It's seriously crazy. I'm amazed I've only seen one accident so far (where one taxi took off another taxi's mirror). - House heating, cleaning
Most Korean houses are equipped with floor heating. As in, water pipes under the floor circulate hot water to heat rooms in the winter. With this in mind, most people sit on the floor, especially when eating and sleeping. My roommates and I do for eating, but we've taken the Western approach to sleeping and actually have beds with mattresses. There is no carpeting (which is also strange). Our communal areas (kitchen, living room) have vinyl flooring, and my bedroom is.. linoleum? The bathroom is entirely tile, even the walls. And the bathroom itself IS the shower (no separate stall). All these things make cleaning super easy... just mop the floors, open the windows, and everything is dry within a few hours. Though, since Koreans take their shoes off at the door (and usually walk around in slippers... though I prefer to be barefoot), there really isn't much dirt. Which is always nice when you're eating (and potentially sleeping) on the floor. - Personal space
In America, I preferred people to be at least an arm's length away, unless it was a close friend or family, and even then... kind of weird. Here, there's no such thing as personal space. There are queues for many things (buses, subways, restaurants, tickets), and complete strangers will stand less than a foot (.3 meters) away. They've also occasionally sat and/or leaned against me on the subway. But the worst invasions of personal space are almost always committed by ajummas (middle-aged ladies). I've been elbowed out of the way countless times. Seriously, I don't know what happens to the polite young Korean women at age ~50. They go from "Excuse me" to just walking with elbows thrust outward, ready to jab anyone and everyone in the kidney. :( - Strangers asking personal questions
Questions I'd find weird coming from people I've known a while are fair game within five minutes of meeting someone in Korea... things like age, job, religion, marriage status. Age is understandable because Koreans have a fairly strict social hierarchy, of which the two main placement/determining factors are age and socioeconomic status (job). Based on your age and/or socioeconomic status compared to the other person, an entirely different form of the language must be used. I mean, you start out using a polite one anyway, but similar-aged people can talk more freely. The other things... well, I'll chalk it up to being curious about a foreigner, but they probably also ask other Koreans. (I've heard Koreans like to know as soon as possible if they can be friends with a person, and the quickest way to do that is to grill them on lots of things in quick succession...) - Bathrooms
In most places, toilets have gone from squatters (pull down your pants, squat, and let it go) to "Western style" (with seats) in a few decades. But subways still cater to the "old school," so you have to be careful when it's your turn in line. Make sure that you get a "Western style" seated toilet (if that's what you prefer) instead of a squatter. There have been a few times where squatters have been 3:1, and I've had to wait an additional 10 minutes to sit to pee, but I consider this time well spent. Also, Koreans have a thing I call "soap-on-a-stick", where they literally stick a bar of soap on a stick, and you use that to sanitize your hands at the sink. I figured it out the first time I went to wash my hands, but I guess it's not so obvious to some (to be fair, if it's worn down, it doesn't always look like a bar of soap). - Restaurants
One (of many) nice things about Korean restaurants is that they often have water dispensers, so you can refill your own cup of water as often as you like. Also, checks come when you're done ordering, and are updated if you order more things.... or, if it's a smaller restaurant, there is no "check" per se, you just walk up the cash register and the Magic Waiter tells you your total. Also, tables often have buzzers on them, to call the waiter over without having to shout, or wait impatiently for them to complete their next circuit of "checks." I actually found it somewhat frustrating in the US, waiting for the waiter to come back, then waiting for a check... Go Korea.. with your efficient Restaurant Etiquette. - Cellphones
I will admit it. Before I came to Korea, I had a dumbphone. I held out on my dumbphone for MANY years. Frankly, I didn't really need it in the US. But in Korea, EVERYONE is on their cellphone, practically all the time. If you're planning to come to Korea, familiarize yourself with an app called KakaoTalk. Sign up for an ID. Most people in Korea don't ask for your number (though some do), they ask for your "KaTalk" ID. KakaoTalk is THE way for Koreans to talk to each other, though Facebook may be a close second (for those Koreans that are somewhat Westernized... i.e. those Under 40). Within a month of moving to Korea, I had to purchase a smartphone (Galaxy S3 at the time), because it's just so essential. They have this app called DMB here, where you can watch TV on the subway with an antenna, like it's a Radio signal in the US. But people are always playing games or listening to music or talking on the phone (both with headphones)... Even employees at the local convenience stores are looking at their phones if someone isn't actually at the cash register. It's an entirely internet-based culture here. People are hyper-connected...or are they? (I may be old enough that I still generally prefer face-to-face interactions...) - Phone call etiquette
I don't have much to say about this, but this is still one of the strangest things to me. Koreans will end their phone conversations with just a "Yep." That's is. Phone call over. In the US, we're always like "Talk to you later" or at the very least, "Goodbye." But I've heard, on several occasions, entire phone conversations consisting of 3 minutes of "Yes," and "OK," and then ending like that. 네~ 네~ 알겠습니다~ 네. It's still disconcerting to have a conversation end the same way it started. ("Yes?" and "Yes.") - Dress
Korean fashion takes a bit of getting used to. Supposedly, revealing your shoulders is a big no-no, but shorts can be as short as you want (and I've seriously seen some things I wish I hadn't) without a problem. But a popular outfit includes shorts/miniskirts with tights in winter. This also goes (a bit less frequently) in summer. Short shorts + nylons is an acceptable outfit in summer. With the high temps and humidity, I sort of understand, but it still is a little weird to me, having grown up with "skirts must be longer than 2 inches below the fingertips." It is interesting to see a number of people covered head to toe in clothes (so as not to get any sun/a tan?) even in high summer. I've heard Koreans prize whiter skin above tanned/darker skin... in which case, this makes sense... but it does make life more difficult. Being so pale, I don't tan well, but I do burn well.. but still, with SPF 50 sunscreen, I'm just fine. I think if I wore long sleeves in summer, I might bake to death.... - Rejection
To be polite, I've heard Koreans can reject something they actually want up to three times. As in, "Please, take this seat." "No thanks I'm good." "No, please take this seat." "No, I'm getting off soon." "I really don't want to sit down." "Well, if you insist..." type of things on the subway. It's all to 'save face' (which I understand), but can be a bit frustrating for all involved, especially foreigners. OK, you say you don't want that seat? I'll take it, I guess. When really they do, and they're now in the process of cursing three generations of your family for being so greedy. Generally, I offer once or twice, then walk away, obviously indicating I'm not interested, thus giving them the chance to take the seat without the need to 'save face'. - Dating
I wrote this topic in a long time ago... and man, I don't feel like writing about this now. But basically, once you're over 25 or so, dating becomes A Thing. You go on Serious Dates set up by your family. Both sides are interested in Marriage, and you basically go to see if you can stand each other for the rest of your lives (or at least, if you can pretend to). If so -- woo, successful matchmaking! Marriage follows soon after. There are also SO many couple days... like, in the US, we have Valentine's Day on 2/14. In Korea, every "14" (mostly) is Some Day. 2/14 girls give guys candy. On 3/14 aka "White Day," guys reciprocate (if appropriate). On 4/14, "Black Day," singles (who didn't get anything on 2/14 or 3/14) eat black-colored food together. 5/14 is Rose Day, where you give a rose to your Special Someone. 6/14 is Kiss Day, which is self explanatory. After that, I stopped keeping track. But basically, Koreans often see Dating as equivalent to Marriage (not always, but frequently), especially after 25, and ESPECIALLY after 30. Thus, if you're in a relationship, you are given many opportunities to flaunt it. (Did I mention "Couple Outfits," where couples dress alike for dates? Gag-inducing from an outsider's perspective, but probably pretty cute, if you're that couple.)
